It’s hard to comprehend but just over three years ago I was very much single and free. No kids, No husband, No boyfriend. To get even more real, I had been recently dumped. I was feeling hurt, unworthy, frustrated and a whole slew of emotions. As I sit here now, a wife and mother I write a letter back to my old self:
Dear Single Brittany,
Take a deep breath. You can’t see it now, but you are at the forefront of an incredible journey. It’s waiting for you just past the horizon. The future that you so desperately long for will be here in the blink of an eye. But instead of telling you all about what is to come, I want to meet you where you are at.
Look around you Brit. You are surrounded by an amazing family and awesome friends. You are worthy and capable. There are so many things you have to be thankful for, and where you’re at, is one of them. Getting dumped was a gift, your time of singlehood is a gift.
Don’t waste the time you’ve been given, living with your head up in the clouds. You are always hoping and dreaming for the future. Well guess what, the present is slipping by. Be an active participant in it.
Call up a girlfriend to go get coffee. Believe me, there will be a time when you long for that but will have to move mountainous schedules to make it happen. Stay up late to finish a project or work on a hobby. In a few years you’ll be so tired by ten o’clock that you and your husband will crash, and both be snoring by 10:15 (just to wake up in a few hours to tend to a crying baby).
Girl, get your finances UNDER CONTROL. There will be day when your frivolous spending will weigh not only on you but on your spouse as well. You will both have to work twice as hard to undo the damage, all while trying to provide for your precious baby.
Get in Shape! You think that a wedding and a pregnancy will force you to be healthy. But the truth is that those habits need to start NOW. Marriage and Motherhood don’t automatically make you a better version of yourself. No ma’am. They magnify your biggest weaknesses and fears. So confront those fears and weaknesses now. Know them and understand them, and ultimately start working on them now.
Finally, sweet previous me, relax and enjoy the ride. Be Present. Use this time to build your foundation for the wife and mother you hope to become. Have fun and take risks. Don’t spend all your time dreaming of being a girlfriend because then you’ll spend all your time dreaming of being engaged, then of being married, then of having a baby, then of having two babies… Get my point?
So I say again, take a deep breath. You’re in for a wild ride.