Evander is now three months old which means a few different things. First, he is no longer a newborn. Secondly, I have been caring for two babies under two years old for three months now. That’s a quarter of a year! This postpartum journey has been a whirlwind. Seriously I’ve felt it all. At times it seemed too easy, effortless and joyful. Other times I have called Dallas at 2 pm begging him to get off on time and take the kids on an adventure because I cannot handle them anymore and just need an hour of silence. Some days everything is jiving and I’m daydreaming about homeschooling so I can keep my babies home with me forever. The next day I’m buzzed on coffee and thinking about going back to work so I can get out of the house and interact with adults.
Honestly though, as difficult and crazy as my days are, I can’t imagine life any differently. Evander is such a strong and steady little boy. He is mainly laid back, except if he’s hungry, and is such a good sleeper. You guys, he already sleeps through the night! I know that is a blessing. Believe me there is NOTHING wrong with a child that doesn’t sleep through the night. The dude just likes his sleep… and his milk.
If you want to start from the beginning hop over to Evander’s Birth Story
Now since I am basically a pro at being a mom (read that with sarcasm) I’m going to list out for you my top pieces of advice to any new mom!
Number One: Get Ready for the Day.
I do not say that to make you feel guilty for wearing sweat pants. What I mean is take a shower and change clothes. Even if that means you are just putting on a clean pair of sweat pants, do it! I personally like to wear joggers or athletic leggings, something that I would feel comfortable running errands in. I know it’s hard, as moms to find time to shower. But seriously make it a priority. You will feel so much better! Those first few weeks I would have both kids with me in the bathroom. Evander would fall asleep to the sound of the water and Gemma would play with her bath toys. A shower and a change of clothes will help you feel put together and I truly believe it helps with recovery time as well.
Number Two: Get Out of the House.
Do it. With babies, without babies, it doesn’t matter. If I am stuck at home for more than 24 hours I get stir-crazy. My emotions and stress fly off the chart. I have to leave the house EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am not kidding. It helps me feel productive and refreshed and it gives us something to do. Some days I just put the kids in the car and drive around the neighborhood while also stopping at Sonic during happy hour. On really nice days we go on walks or visit the park or zoo (Yay for zoo memberships!) If I can’t get out during the day while Dallas is at work then he will watch the kids for me and let me run a quick errand. I know that some people are strict about keeping the baby at home until 12 weeks, but I’ve had both kids out in public places starting at 3 days old. Just be smart about it and talk with your pediatrician. Both of my children were born term and very healthy. I either wear them in a carrier or they are in their car seat, possibly under the milk snob cover. Most people respect your boundaries and understand not to reach out and touch your baby. If they don’t then speak up polite but FIRM.
WATCH: A glimpse into our day to day as a SAHM of two under two
Number Three: Don’t Force a Schedule Too Early.
Let me start by saying I am VERY pro schedule. I think most everyone thrives in routine, especially little ones. However, in my opinion, trying to push a routine too early or too strongly is a recipe for disaster. You must also be flexible. Especially while everyone is adjusting to the new normal. The only thing we are VERY strict on is Gemma’s bedtime. As Evander got older we began gently coaxing him into a rhythm as well. It’s 50-50. We get to know him as a baby and listen to HIS cues, but we also help him along. We are now at three months and he is on the same bedtime schedule as Gemma and is settling into a consistent napping and eating schedule as well. Just remember those first few weeks it’s okay to not have any kind of schedule. Don’t add extra stress to yourself by trying to force it.
Number Four: Soak Up the Joy and Remember Darkness will Pass.
There is nothing crazier than those hormones. The postpartum journey is filled with highs and lows. This tip is really just a reminder. Remember that the darkness will eventually pass. The hard moments, that feel like an eternity, when babies are screaming and your crying and you don’t know what to do, it will not always be like that. Ultimately the newborn stage is just a tiny moment. Three months if we are being technical. It feels forever in the moment but it’s small in comparison to everything else. So hang on for dear life and do your best to find JOY in every day. Memorize you little one’s face, their smell, their sounds, the feel of them in your arms. You blink and they are older and bigger and time just keeps moving forward.
Number Five: Community. Community. Community.
You’ve heard “it takes a village”. Mamas, we NEED each other. Do not weather through this journey alone. Talk to your partner, your mentors, other mamas. Find your tribe. You need to be able to vent. You need someone who will listen to you cry about how your failing as a mother while also shedding light that those are LIES. We need people to speak life and truth and encouragement to us. Parenting is HARD. Having two under two is HARD. Yet it’s all worth it and it’s so much easier when you’re walking through life WITH people.
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